POEM PER MONTH // February

It is with some regret that I commit to doing this challenge, posting the poems from last year for anyone to see via the internet.

During the writing of this last one, I wasn’t my best self. It was snowing heavily, and I was stuck in the last workaway of a long year of volunteering in other people’s houses. I was tired of not having autonomy. Even though I knew we’d soon be moving into our house and going to Vipassana, a two-week meditation retreat in Avila, I still felt trapped and being snowed-in seemed to reflect that.

It would be easier to pretend that this one wasn’t written, especially because I think it’s quite poor anyway. But I committed to the challenge, so here it is:

Mountains White      3/02/18

Out I see
To the landscape
Beyond me

I cannot go
My legs say no
Mind bound by abandoned words
Not free

What’s this grip upholding me?
Keeping me strait, folding me.
Like a doubled napkin
Triangular, twisted
Out of shape, worn
Not lifted

I’m stuck here, feet in boggy ice
Fear of slipping: it won’t be nice

But neither’s this,
This hateful grip
Loveless self-numbness
Slipping anyway
My raynaud’s heart
Circulation poor
Connect I cant

Corazón estomago
No hay algun camino

Disconnected, broken, torn
When will my days
Sit down
Worn

Mountains white
Your peaks too far
To warm the tips of my aching-

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